Have you ever been at a point in time when you had so much to say and so much you wanted to do that you ended up doing nothing and saying nothing at all? Well that’s the mode I have been operating on the past couple of months and I can only sum it up in one word: Overwhelmed. There have been moments when I really wanted to post something up and my emotions will literally be on the brink of spilling over that I had to take a step back and re-evaluate my motives and thoughts and try to make sense of it all and figure out how I can best articulate myself to myself first!
Yesterday I think my emotions finally did spill over when I received some very distressing news that left me feeling one disturbing extreme to the other. I was so disturbed it came to the point of questioning my faith and essentially questioning myself. You see, I always try to view people with an open mind and not pass quick judgement based on preconceived notions, especially in light of my own flaws. By now I am sure whoever is reading this is probably wondering what has sent me over the edge….
Well to put it simply: humanity or more specifically human nature has left me feeling like a whirlpool of emotional perplexity! What causes some people to do things that are constituted wrong in certain social contexts, yet in some societies it is tolerated and maybe even celebrated? Let me give a simple example: I remember learning in sociology (in my undergrad years) how in some social groups, it is the men that stay home and take care of the kids and do the cooking and cleaning a.k.a the househusbands or better yet, the Stepford husbands! This is considered socially acceptable and anything that goes against this, goes against the norms and is socially and traditionally unacceptable! So in the other social contexts where we have the Stepford Wives and the traditional housewives, are they wrong for doing what they are doing when judged by other social pretexts of other groups? What is the measurement of right and wrong in this context? Is it safe to conclude that right and wrong are based within a sociological framework?
Allow me to go deeper: the social complexities that go past culture and tradition and goes deeper into the mind is where my true interest lays. What causes someone to be a sociopath? Does this mean that they will be appraised in a different platform than others? For in their world everything is upside down and right and wrong are merely terminologies that they do not comprehend. Therefore does that make it right when they do something substantially wrong?
Where does God fit in? I understand that He/she is creator, sovereign, omnipotent, omnipresent, etc yet when I hear how a human being can molest an innocent child, I question again, where is God? Don’t get me wrong, when it boils down to it, I need my faith, because I remember trying to live it my way and that path is a path I NEVER want to revisit. Its like being in a room full of people yet feeling utterly alone, everything is meaningless, basically superfluous. To me that is one of the worst feeling one can go through. So as one who has renewed their faith, I do not follow blindly and religiously, but I follow as one who has been given a mind to analyze, critique, question, formulate and try to comprehend the intricacies that life offers. However, I will be a fool to say that we can even comprehend a fraction of this being known in the Hebrew as, “I AM.”
So alas, I don’t want to dissect this topic any further for it may expose some things I am not sure some people are ready to read or hear about. But I will say this, human nature has long been analyzed since the beginning of time, as far back as the garden of Eden to the present time we are living in and yet, I don’t think we are any closer to understanding the soul (the mind, will, emotions) versus our Spirit being as we were B.C. So until next time when I am not so overwhelmed…..